Palooza's Top 125 Films of 2012

[Leftwich]

Still haven't seen the hunger games and don't plan on it.

 

[Palooza]

74 . Men in Black III

Will Smith, Josh Brolin, Tommy Lee Jones, Jemaine Clement, Michael Stahlberg, Emma Thompson, Alice Eve, Bill Hader, Mike Colter, Nicole Scherzinger​

Director(s) - Barry Sonenfeld
Writer(s) - Etan Cohen
Source Material/Connections - The third film in the Men in Black series, obviously, which was originally based off of "The Men in Black" comic by Lowell Cunningham
MPAA Rating - PG-13
Release Date - May 25
Runtime - 1 hour, 45 minutes
RT Score - 70%
Metacritic - 58/100
Views - 2
Viewed - torrent, dvd
Quote - "I promised the secrets of the universe, nothing more."
Review -
The first Men in Black is pretty fucking awesome. It's got blockbuster Will Smith in his prime, grumpy Tommy Lee Jones being too old for this shit and Vincent D'Onforio being an alien who wants more sugar and whose face doesn't fit on his alien body. It's funny, heartfelt, fun and cool. The 2nd one sucks and is none of those things. This one is a mix of the two, with Josh Brolin being the true hero of it all and a sweet end battle that reminded me of the first one. What sucks is how they try to tie everything up in the trilogy with a nice little bow, barely making most of the first movie make sense. Really poorly done, but it was all for an emotional reaction from the audience. Definitely left a bad taste in my mouth. Without any reason to make a 4th, please don't.

The Good -
Like I said, this movie is completely saved once Josh Brolin comes on screen. He is EXACTLY Tommy Lee Jones but as a younger version. He nails the role perfectly and transforms the movie from being exactly what the second one was to a fun, engaging movie like it was supposed to be. Josh Brolin and Will Smith have some of the same great chemistry that TLJ and Big Willy Style had in the original.

Will Smith is pretty good at mail-in jobs and it's pretty obvious his heart just isn't in it anymore but he still seems right at home in a black suit. It didn't take away from the movie at all and the removal of Agent Z (Rip Torn) isn't even noticed, since we get Emma Thompson's bitchy, female Agent K-esque "O". She's also mimicked pretty well in the time travel scenes by Alice Eve, who is fiiiiiiiiiiiine, understandable why K would go after that fine ass.

Even though the villain is the worst part of the movie, the whole time travel and all the sci-fi futuristic gizmos are cool and were always done well by this series, except the vehicles, which we will get to later. In addition to this, the last fight scene between Young Boris/Old Boris and Agent J/Agent K is really neat and suspenseful. You know the good guys are gunna win, but up that high, fighting on the Apollo 11 before it takes off was really cool. It wasn't as clever or well done as the invading history of X-Men: First Class last year, but that movie is almost perfect.

I almost forgot to mention their little Andy Warhol (Bill Hader) joke. Very well done and well executed by my mans Bill Hader.

The Bad -
Ugh. Jemaine Clement as "Boris the Animal" who is so fucking ugly and disgusting of an alien you cringe whenever he is on screen. His face is all scarred and beat up, he has little aliens that pop out of his hands and kill people and his tongue is perhaps the most repulsive thing in this series, beyond the regrowing Tony Shaloub head, D'Onofrio's bugs or David Cross's bug goo dripping on TLJ's match from the original. Even though all of this filth and disgust he is touted as so menacing and dangerous, but he's just ugly. Besides that he tries too hard, or the writers at least, try too hard to make him evil. Jemaine Clement is shitty make up is not evil or scary or intimidating. So let's bring on two versions of him for the extra menace. Beat.

So those futuristic cars I was talking about that were awful? I'm sure you've seen them in the trailers. They look like this -

 

Did somebody not notice they are IDENTICAL to this -

 

And that's all I'm gunna say about that one.

Ahhhh, now here we are at the horrible, horrible ending that puts the entire trilogy into a forced circle. So the film takes place in the 70's IIRC because Agent J (Will Smith) has followed Boris the Animal (Jemaine Clement), a supervillain, back in time in an effort to save his mentor and partner, Agent K (Tommy Lee Jones). There he runs into the Agent K of the past (Josh Brolin) and together, though reluctantly they band together to stop Boris from following through with his original plans that K foiled in the past. Those plans included something with the Apollo 11 space shuttle in Cape Canaveral, FL. In an effort to get past military security, they somehow convince a black military officer to let them through. They save the day, badda bing badda boom. HOWEVA, the only way to save the day leads the black dude to get killed while his son is not far off. THAT SON WAS WILL SMITH! Sooo yeah, J's dad sacrificed himself in front of his son to save K. Yet there is no mention of his guilt in the first movie while he is recruiting him. Don't add shit like that just to try and create a sympathetic loop that makes no sense. Whatever.
Rating - C

 

[strahanfan92]

Watched The Hunger Games last night, phew that was long and awful. Got Perks of Being a Wellflower and The Master up next, hype.

 

[Youk]

C's are beat anyhow. Nothing to be proud of

C's get degrees.

 

[Palooza]

C's get degrees.

maybe at that turd SUNY school you went to :thumbsup:

 

[Youk]

maybe at that turd SUNY school you went to :thumbsup:

:yep:

 

[Palooza]

73 . The Grey

Liam Neeson, Frank Grillo, Dermot Mulroney, Dallas Roberts, Joe Anderson, Nonso Anozie, James Badge Dale, Ben Bray, Anne Openshaw ​

Director(s) - Joe Carnahan
Writer(s) - Joe Carnahan, Ian MacKenzie Jeffries
Source Material/Connections - based on the short story "Ghost Walker" by Ian MacKenzie Jeffries
MPAA Rating - R
Release Date - January 27
Runtime - 1 hour, 18 minutes
RT Score - 79%
Metacritic - 64/100
Views - 1
Viewed - torrent
Quote - "This is fuck city, population five and dwindling."
Review - Sometimes, simple is good. Far too often in Hollywood we see a movie try to be more than it is and it winds up really hurting in the long run. This movie has been a victim of that. Outside of the generally badassery of a bunch of guys crash landing in wolf territory and having to survive, this movie falls pretty flat. It goes beyond the man vs. nature themes and delves into the themes of God, heaven and the like. This is where the movie tries to be more than what it is. You have a perfect scenario where these guys are fighting for their lives; it can be 90 minutes of pure entertainment, but no, we need a message and blatant motifs and themes that are constantly addressed. Outside of a few fight scenes, Liam Neeson and a cool plane crash, this movie is beat. There's a reason this movie is given a C rating - every one good thing that happens it's counteracted with a bad thing. You can't win here, but you also won't lose.

The Good -
I can't tell if me liking the fact that nobody survives is a good thing or a bad thing for this movie, but I'll chalk it up as a good thing for their sake. I didn't care about most characters, so my interest in their dying was expected. However, in such a scenario, you know the chance for survival is limited, so I'm glad they didn't cop out and have Neeson find safety right at the end of the movie. Would have taken the poorly established religious themes and took a shit on them and this movie would have failed.

The death and fight scenes were a little hit or miss. I'll get into one or two in particular in the bad section, but here I was relatively pleased with how violent some of the wolf attacks were. I can't say I was overly impressed with the deaths in general, but the events leading up to most the deaths were fun. Also, the plane crash was pretty fucking sweet. Really well done.

The Bad -
Ahhhh, a flimsy script leads to predictability within the events of the movie. You know where every turn is headed, it's only a matter of time before you get there. The only way they'll stray from the path is if they completely butcher it, so there's something wrong with rooting for predictability. There was no circumstance where you could have been surprised. Survival movies are all the same, it's all about your execution in the deaths.

Speaking of deaths, there is one that irked me and probably did the actor, too. The Richest Man in Qarth is the only black dude who is a part of their crew and after seeing some of his buddies go out by getting eaten by wolves while they piss or they fell off a cliff and got all ate up by the wolves, this guy gets hypoxia and dies. What a pathetic death, even though it may add to realism, I don't care. I don't want realism, I want these guys to bareknuckle box wolves.

And what a transition we have here. So bareknuckle boxing wolves, eh? That's what this movie advertised would be going down. They say "Liam Neeson will fight and kill wolves with his hands." Do it happen? Yes. It does. OFF SCREEN! The last 5 minutes of the movie Neeson encounters the alpha wolf and they battle it out, some quick cuts and a pause later and they both lie in the snow, dying. Credits. Why the fuck would you hype me up for Liam Neeson killin mofuckin' wolves with his hands and then cut away before they get going? So beat, Joe Carnahan, so beat.

But not as beat as the forced religious talks throughout the movie. God weighs this movie down, forcing dialogue between the guys about whether they believe in God, praying and thanking God for keeping them safe. It's just thrown at you too much. It's obvious the filmmakers are trying to add substance to a movie about killing wolves in the middle of a blizzard and it's done oh so horribly.
Rating - C

 

[Leftwich]

Looza did you see Sinister?

Decent horror flick.

 

[Palooza]

Yes I did, it's on the list.

 

[Glenbino]

Wow that's low for the grey... one of the few decent January releases ever.

 

[Palooza]

Wow that's low for the grey... one of the few decent January releases ever.

A much more fun January release coming up in a few spots. The Grey was more frustrating than fun, I kept trying to turn my brain off but it wouldn't let me. January and February movies should be bad but at least some sort of entertainment value. The Grey's entertainment was few and far between.

edit - I'm also not caught up in the omg Liam Neeson biggest badazz evar hype, either.

 

[Palooza]

72 . God Bless America

Joel Murray, Tara Lynn Barr, Melinda Paige Hamilton, Rich McDonald, Mackenzie Brooke Smith, Maddie Hasson​

Director(s) - Bobcat Goldthwait
Writer(s) - Bobcat Goldthwait
Source Material/Connections - n/a
MPAA Rating - R
Release Date - May 11 (limited)
Runtime - 1 hour, 34 minutes
RT Score - 67%
Metacritic - 56/100
Views - 1
Viewed - netflix
Quote - "Why have a civilization if we are no longer interested in being civilized."
Review - I kind of had a hard time rating this movie. I liken this movie to last year's Hobo with a Shotgun - it's a violent, over the top "revenge" B-movie. Joel Murray stars as Frank a guy who after being diagnosed with some sort of terminal illness, finally snaps and begins a cross country road trip killing everyone who represents something that is wrong in this world, concluding at an American Idol spoof with guns a-blazing. What's good about this movie sometimes turns bad. It blends the aforementioned elements of violence and redemption with satire and black comedy, so what's wrong with it? Well, it's over-the-top, too ambitious and angry. The targets are obvious and Goldthwait winds up being his own worst enemy here, getting self involved. It's essentially Goldthwait's way to blow off steam about all the shit he hates in the world. It's preachy and a bit hypocritical at times. The entire thing has a low budget feel, but not ironically like Hobo with a Shotgun. The acting, outside of Joel Murray, is borderline embarrassing and it gets ridiculous at certain points.

Rating - C

 

[Palooza]

71 . Frankenweenie

​

Director(s) - Tim Burton
Writer(s) - Tim Burton, John August
Source Material/Connections - based on Tim Burton's own 1984 short film of the same name.
MPAA Rating - PG
Release Date - October 5
Runtime - 1 hour, 30 minutes
RT Score - 88%
Metacritic - 74/100
Views - 1
Viewed - theaters
Quote - "They like what science gives them but not the questions..no, not the questions the science asks."
Review -
This review can be summed up pretty easily, so I won't waste too much time. Even though Tim Burton's latest foray in animation is clever, looks perfect for the setting and is a pretty fun ride, it's completely forgettable. It's an old and overdone storyline with Tim Burton's animation and trademarks caked on. It's nothing revolutionary, but it's fun for what it is. I don't suppose I'll ever see it again and I'm okay with that. It's always satisfying to watch a Tim Burton movie without Johnny Depp's face or voice, so that's a plus. In addition to that, Winona Ryder's somber, depressed voice always turned me on, so yeah.
Rating - C

 

[LiquidLarry2GhostWF]

I actually liked The Hunger Games. For a film with young adult source material, it was incredibly well acted (most films from this genre are incredibly corny) and while the film could have expounded on certain things...I think it hit all of the points.

 

[LiquidLarry2GhostWF]

C for Frankenweenie?

Bollocks, I say. Second best animated film of the year.

The Grey gets a C. C'mon, son.

 

[Palooza]

C for Frankenweenie?

Bollocks, I say. Second best animated film of the year.

The Grey gets a C. C'mon, son.

The Grey was barely mediocre, was this close to failing it aaaaaaaand Wreck-It Ralph and ParaNorman blow Frankenweenie out da water.

 

[Palooza]

come at me bro

 

[mgoblue2290]

The Grey couldn't decide between being an action film or a dialogue driven movie about some regular dudes in a very bad situation. It tried doing both and failed. It could've been a decent action survival movie if it wanted too, or could've been, I think at least, a better, bleak story driven movie.

They should've done more to parallel the humans and wolves in the movie too. There the one scene where Liam Neeson is like nah brah I'm the alpha here, but maybe them sacrificing one of the guys to survive a la the omega wolf would've been a nice touch. It had potential but definitely did not reach it.

 

[Buzzman]

Regardless of the quality of The Grey, the soundtrack used in the final scene is fucking killer.

 

[dell71]

The Grey was more frustrating than fun, I kept trying to turn my brain off but it wouldn't let me.

'Cuz it kept trying to be "deep".