Palooza's Top 125 Films of 2012

[Palooza]

76 . The Amazing Spider-man

Andrew Garfield, Emma Stone, Rhys Ifans, Dennis Leary, Martin Sheen, Sally Field, Irrfan Khan, Chris Zylka, Campbell Scott, Embeth Davidtz, C. Thomas Howell, Stan Lee​

Director(s) - Marc Webb
Writer(s) - James Vanderbilt , Alvin Sargent, Steve Kloves
Source Material/Connections - based on the Marvel comic book of the same name by Stan Lee and Steve Ditko
MPAA Rating - PG-13
Release Date - July 3
Runtime - 2 hours, 16 minutes
RT Score - 74%
Metacritic - 66/100
Views - 1
Viewed - Theaters
Quote - "Oh no. Somebody's been a bad lizard."
Review - My major problem with this movie, besides that fact that it is almost a carbon copy of the first one made 10 years prior is that there's no substance to the movie. We've seen it before so add something to it that makes it unique, don't just switch shit around and make it seem like it;s new and different. We all know why this movie sucks and that's because of Sony. They fired Sam Raimi and the entire cast and started over again for what? Oh right, so the rights wouldn't be lost and go back to Marvel, even though that is exactly what it should be. This movie is literally the opposite of a passion project. One critic put it perfectly, "this movie feels like a waste of time because it is one." You're sitting there waiting and waiting to like this movie and then all of a sudden the credits roll. It's a gigantic waste of time, no matter what JHen tells you.

Let's get on with the recycled plot shall we? So Peter Parker, you know that sarcastic nerd who nobody notices and if they do they pick on him? Well, his parents are dead and he lives with his aunt and uncle and he's in high school. High school is tough because of attractive girls and bullies and stuff, it's easy to become an outcast, especially if you're a nerd photographer scientist. Okay, so instead of going deep into the plot you've heard a thousand times. Take the first Spiderman and instead of Mary Jane you have Gwen Stacy (Emma Stone) who, thankfully, is 1000x hotter than Kirsten Dunst, especially in mini-skirts and stockings. oooooohhh weeeeeeeeee! Okay so swap those two and then swap Norman Osbourne/Green Goblin from the original for Curt Conners/The Lizard. Seriously it's the exact same movie. Conners wants Parker to be his understudy like Osbourne and he experiments on himself to prove his theories to horrendous results. Peter gets bit by a radioactive spider, Uncle Ben dies, etc etc etc. There was seriously no need for this movie to exist and we will now start bashing Sony...

Sony, Sony, Sony. Marc Webb is a passionate filmmaker who is an up and comer and will probably make some solid movies one day. The Amazing Spider-man franchise is bringing him down. You have sucked all the passion right out of the project by rushing everything, hiring a group of incompetent writers to recreate something you are no longer proud of. I know Tobey Maguire sucks, but Andrew Garfield is like 30 years old, where do you think this is headed? Just give up the franchise and give it to Marvel where it deserves to get some justice. We didn't need a remake, you want to re-do this bullshit fine, but we didn't need yet ANOTHER origins story 10 years after we just saw it. People will understand if you just plop a Spider-man movie on them. They know the story. Fuck you Sony.
Spoiler Alert - Spidey saves the day and gets the girl.
Rating - F

 

[Buzzman]

You MONSTER!!

 

[Palooza]

You MONSTER!!

uft:

 

[Palooza]

Also, any of you Spidey fanboys are gunna be HEATED when you see the first C ranking.

 

[Goober]

The worst part of spiderman was the terrible cgi on the lizard.

Oh and the goofy construction workers lining up the cranes, because apparently spiderman can't sling from one skyscraper to another. That scene reminded be of the monkey scene in Indiana Jones and the KOTCS.

 

[Palooza]

The worst part of spiderman was the terrible cgi on the lizard.

It looked like it would be a henchman of Shredder in a poorly made Ninja Turtles movie.

 

[Youk]

Not shocked. Was hoping you'd post Django to troll us, then a real one later. :huggy:

 

[Palooza]

The 50 Worst Movies of 2012 -

125. Alex Cross
124. Man on a Ledge
123. Friends with Kids
122. The Words
121. About Cherry
120. House at the End of the Street
119. Piranha 3DD
118. Resident Evil - Retribution
117. High School
116. The Babymakers
115. Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter
114. The Watch
113. American Reunion
112. Lola Versus
111. Chernobyl Diaries
110. The Raven
109. Hit & Run
108. The Dictator
107. Lockout
106. Taken 2
105. Deadfall
104. Ghost Rider - Spirit of Vengeance
103. Total Recall
102. The Details
101. The Trouble with the Curve
100. Brave
99. Why Stop Now?
98. Battleship
97. Savages
96. John Carter
95. Snow White and the Huntsman
94. The Awakening
93. Salmon Fishing in the Yemen
92. For a Good Time, Call...
91. Butter
90. The Campaign
89. Wanderlust
88. Cosmopolis
87. The Do-Deca-Pentathlon
86. Frankie Go Boom
85. Project X
84. Ted
83. Haywire
82. Hitchcock
81. This Must Be The Place
80. Flight
79. The Comedy
78. Promised Land
77. Safe House
76. The Amazing Spider-man

 

[Palooza]

I will start with the 28 mediocre films of 2012 tomorrow after I get out of work.

 

[Goober]

Of the four movies I've seen that have been mentioned so far, I would rank them:
1) Friends with Kids
2) The Campaign
3) The Amazing Spiderman
4) Casa De Mi Padre

 

[dell71]

Two more I never even heard of: Butter, The Comedy. From the looks of it, glad that's the case.

Of the stuff I've seen (since about #94 on the list):

A couple I sorta like but not completely thrilled by: Project X (I know its dumb, but went in expecting stupidity & it delivers), Flight.

A couple ridiculously generic flicks: Safe House, The Amazing Spider-Man (so unnecessary).

One I like, but it's not the best movie ever like everyone else thinks: Ted. Not tired of the Family Guy type jokes because I only see the show maybe once every other month or so. Haven't watched South Park in forever and the last time I saw The Simpsons (which FG shamelessly ripped off) was the movie they made a couple years ago. Forgive me for being behind the times.

One I liked when I first saw it, but like even more now: Haywire. Yes, it's an artsy-fartsy action flick with a terrible lead performance (Carano's performance is reminiscent very early Schwarzenegger, all brawn, no brain). Yes, the plot is flimsy. Still, I love the way Soderbergh told what little story he had and as you say the hand-to-hand combat is top-notch. BTW, Channing Tatum sucks in most things, but I wouldn't call him inexperienced. Dude's actually been around damn near a decade and has made roughly 30 movies.

 

[Palooza]

One I liked when I first saw it, but like even more now: Haywire. Yes, it's an artsy-fartsy action flick with a terrible lead performance (Carano's performance is reminiscent very early Schwarzenegger, all brawn, no brain). Yes, the plot is flimsy. Still, I love the way Soderbergh told what little story he had and as you say the hand-to-hand combat is top-notch. BTW, Channing Tatum sucks in most things, but I wouldn't call him inexperienced. Dude's actually been around damn near a decade and has made roughly 30 movies.

Maybe inexperienced isn't the right word but his two best movies are from 2012 and of his 30 movies, I would be proud of maybe one or two outside of his 2012 efforts coming up (10 Years, Magic Mike, and 21 Jump Street) on the list. He's only finally coming out of his shell and Soderbergh is the first real director he has ever worked with. I used to avoid C-Tates movies like the plague, but now I don't mind them at all.

edit - looks like he worked with Michael Mann on Public Enemies, Mann's worst movie. I liked Miami Vice :shifty:

 

[Buzzman]

I have to admit I like Shes the Mann, Step Up, Stop Loss and A Guide o Recognizing Your Saints. He secretly worked his way into an enjoyable actor I never realized I enjoyed until this year. I liked him in every single thing he was in last year, including Haywire. Hell even next year hes in one of my most anticipated movies of the year with Foxcatcher.

Edit: Also enjoyed him in Side Effects.

 

[Goober]

I have to admit I like Shes the Mann, Step Up, Stop Loss and A Guide o Recognizing Your Saints. He secretly worked his way into an enjoyable actor I never realized I enjoyed until this year. I liked him in every single thing he was in last year, including Haywire. Hell even next year hes in one of my most anticipated movies of the year with Foxcatcher.

Edit: Also enjoyed him in Side Effects.

No way!

 

[Sharkweather]

Jason Lyle and Rowdy Sparks were some good performances!

Also I agree with She's the Man, such a guilty pleasure one.

 

[dell71]

Maybe inexperienced isn't the right word but his two best movies are from 2012 and of his 30 movies, I would be proud of maybe one or two outside of his 2012 efforts coming up (10 Years, Magic Mike, and 21 Jump Street) on the list. He's only finally coming out of his shell and Soderbergh is the first real director he has ever worked with. I used to avoid C-Tates movies like the plague, but now I don't mind them at all.

edit - looks like he worked with Michael Mann on Public Enemies, Mann's worst movie. I liked Miami Vice :shifty:

I like Miami Vice, too.

 

[Cornelius]

I hate Miami Vice only because they used that shitty Phil Collins cover. You can't cover Phil Collins!

 

[Palooza]

75 . The Hunger Games

Jennifer Lawrence, Josh Hutcherson, Woody Harrelson, Liam Hemsworth, Elizabeth Banks, Wes Bentley, Donald Sutherland, Lenny Kravitz, Stanley Tucci, Amandla Stenberg, Alexander Ludwig, Isabelle Fuhrman, Jack Quaid, Leven Rambin, Toby Jones, Dayo Okeniyi, Jacqueline Emerson, Paula Malcomson, Willow Shields​

Director(s) - Gary Ross
Writer(s) - Gary Ross, Suzanne Collins, Billy Ray
Source Material/Connections - based on the first novel in the "The Hunger Games" young adult series by Suzanne Collins
MPAA Rating - PG-13
Release Date - March 23
Runtime - 2 hours, 23 minutes
RT Score - 85%
Metacritic - 67/100
Views - 1
Viewed - in theaters
Quote - "Okay, well I'm not gonna kill anyone with a sack of flour."
Review -
While this movie has more wrong with it than it doesn't, it still hasn't wasted its potential. Going forward, the series can only get better and they did the right thing by axing the director and hiring someone new. Also, they'll be bringing on two of my favorites in Philip Seymour Hoffman and Jeffrey Wright. I've never read these books before because I'm not Buzzman, so i don't know how they come into play. I can't talk about being disappointed or satisfied in terms of adaptation, either. I'm not going to jump into the exhausting plot description because if you haven't heard of The Hunger Games than you shouldn't even be reading this review and if you've heard of the movie you already know what it's about and have chosen to see it or don't care and haven't. Moving along...
The Good - -
Ah, so the goods of the movie. Well, Jennifer Lawrence. Mmmmmm. She was looking young and good and kicking ass while doing it. She does a really good job of carrying the movie on both the teeny bopper shit and once shit gets real with her bow and arrow. In addition to her, the cast is pretty solid. Donald Sutherland playing a mean jerk, Wes Bentley as a weirdo, Lenny Kravitz as the guy with style, Stanley Tucci chomps on screen as the interviewer guy, Woody Harrelson gets his "I don't give a fuck on" as their mentor. All really solid jobs for what they were. Small roles and they all let Jennifer Lawrence take the stage. Jennifer Lawrence and the corny fun that is had through the movie keeps this one from being a failing movie. It's more of a D than a C, but who gives a fuck.
The Bad -
I had three major problems with the film - The character of Rue, Peeta's "skills" and the directing. I won't add my gripes with the script because Jesus it's based on a bunch of YA novels, of course it's gunna be cheesy and forcefully romantic at times. I've gotten past those problems. Howevaaaa, on to the real problems, starting with Gary Ross. Once we finally got to what was supposed to be the meat and potatoes of the film, the action! The Hunger Games are set to begin and children will be killing children! Battle Royale ripoff time! Wrong. Absolutely fucking wrong. The actual Hunger Games are treated so fucking poorly. Instead of giving girlfriends their portion of the movie with all the lameness, you couldn't satisfy the boyfriends with some decent fucking action? Gary "I dropped the Glens in my name" Ross absolutely butchers this shit There is no action. Well, people die and get killed but the camera is so shaky and so zoomed in you can't see anything. There are so many quick cuts, I wanted to strangle Paul Greengrass for making shitty directors think that's how you do fight scenes. Ugh, absolutely pathetic.

Now, Peeta (Josh Hutcherson) is obviously a bitch. He has no skills that translate to the Hunger Games. Except! His parents own a bakery so he can lug and toss giant sacks of flour around, which will most certainly come into play at an opportune moment! Well, you can't just have one skill, that will make you one dimensional, duh. What's his second skill? He is a fucking cake boss! If this weren't young adult dystopia, he would certainly have his own reality show. Whatever, either way. How does this skill come into play? Well this mixes with the "I'm a bitch" portion and he uses writing "Happy Birthday Faggot" on a cake to completely cover his face in makeup that looks exactly like grass and moss so he can blend in and use it as camouflage. Genius work, bitch boy.

And lastly, we have the character of Rue, the little black girl from District 11 or someshit who Katniss takes a liking to. They barely bond and they're all of a sudden like best friends with no real development, they're just besties, practically sisters at this point. So they definitely set this up so they could kill her later and get Katniss all charged up. That's pretty fucked up, I don't approve.
Rating - C

 

[Pitty]

Thought the mediocre films would get F+'s.

 

[Palooza]

C's are beat anyhow. Nothing to be proud of, it just means you did like 2 things right instead of nothing.

These are the generic movies that weren't terrible, but also weren't good.