Buttered Popcorn: Buzzmans Movie Review Thread

[Palooza]

When you have 7 sisters, you tend to get dragged into too many shitty movies.

Your parents have a lot of unprotected sex.

 

[Buzzman]

Tower Heist (2011)

Ben Stiller and Eddie Murphy lead an all-star cast in Tower Heist, a comedy caper about working stiffs who seek revenge on the Wall Street swindler who stiffed them. After the workers at a luxury Central Park condominium discover the penthouse billionaire has stolen their retirement, they plot the ultimate revenge: a heist to reclaim what he took from them.

Tower Heist presented itself in a way that probably ended up hurting it more than the beneficial gains it received from it. From the moment the project was conceived up until its premiere of the trailer it seemed all too content with marketing it as a laugh out loud comedy full of funny people doing crazy stupid things. The biggest problem with that tactic is the movie works far better as a drama relaying the state of the economy is in onto the viewers. It’s a story that is not only relatable but makes enough jokes work to make the subject matter work as a film.

The film starts off with a man embezzling the life savings from all of his colleagues for his own gain. He was secretly broke and needed it to keep up appearances. The consequences of this is serious and the film has no problem showing just how much it can ruin of the lives of these victims. Suicide, depression, and robbery are not the type of scenarios you would see play out in a comedy, because they aren’t generally funny. This is just one of the many times the films marketing campaign failed it. It’s a light-hearted look into this subject matter, but it doesn’t ever try and be funny at the start. It’s not until this plan of action involving a heist does it falter and become something that it’s not. The introduction of Eddie Murphy is dumb; he’s not funny anymore. Plus the actual heist is planned for a good portion of the film, but the film doesn’t do action very well either so it comes off as an anti-climactic event rather than the big payoff it was said to be. The first half I would go as far as calling it great, but the ladder half is merely mediocre. It dissolves into a dozen other movies we’ve seen before.

Ben Stiller is good here in the lead. He has the right amount of charm to be friendly enough with everyone that their trust in him is undoubtable, but just a little too friendly to end up falling for a scam like this. I haven’t seen him try and be this serious in a long while. The wait for another role shouldn’t be much longer than before; I like this version. Eddie Murphy on the other hand is bad. His jokes are dumb, his character is severely misguided, and he doesn’t seem to fit into the story at all. It almost seemed like a last minute addition to the story that forced this character in there somehow. My favorite parts of this movie were from its supporting cast. Michael Pena, Casey Affleck, Mathew Broderick, and Stephen Henderson were all smaller but interesting sub plots that felt like additions to the story rather than just filler material. It isn’t a ensemble cast that is fantastic but they didn’t manage to create an enjoyable movie that really shouldn’t have been that good.

If you’re looking for laughs, this isn’t the movie you should be watching. If you happen to be in the mood for something with a more light-hearted tone that is almost worth a recommendation, this puppy is exactly what you’re looking for. It’s too bad the title and money got in the way in what could have been a damn fine movie.

Overall Score: 6.5/10

 

[Buzzman]

Perfect Sense (2012)

A chef (Ewan McGregor) and a scientist (Eva Green) fall in love as an epidemic begins to rob people of their sensory perceptions.

Last year Contagion came out and was met with a lot of critical praise. I thought it was a good movie that could have been great if it didn’t focus on such a wide range of characters. I never really felt attached to most of them because we moved on to some else, someone with a different problem. I understand that was the point of the film; trying to show how massive and quickly a virus of certain nature can spread, but I would have been more than happy to see any one of those characters on screen the whole time. I think with Perfect Sense we get a taste of that with the seriousness toned down a bit. It’s not a perfect movie, but I really do think this captures that panic and the effect it has on a mass of people a bit better than Contagion did.

The story is very different than a normal virus movie. There is no way to avoid catching it; no matter what you do you will become infected. It’s a nice touch to not have constant chaos in such a movie. People initially panic but realize it’s inevitable and fall back into their everyday routines. It’s interesting the way the film handles this situation. We see this virus unfold through the eyes of two very different people. One is a scientist trying to solve the crisis through her veracious experimentations and the other is a chef who just tries to develop new methods of cooking based on their circumstances. You see, this virus is like any other in the films I’ve seen. It slowly affects your senses (touch, smell, taste, sight, touch). One by one they start to go away; the best parts are how simple a restaurant can have on certain people. You have to think they’re not the only business to adjust, but it’s the one the film decides to focus on. It’s not all about the virus though; these two people find each other amidst the problem and slowly come to love each other. It’s well done, well-paced, and feels very real. The film and their relationship are poetic in the end. It inserts a feeling that won’t leave you for a few hours, maybe even days.

Since Casino Royale, I’ve loved Eva Green. I think she has a mystery about her and a stare that can kill. Its not different here, but she does a great job of portraying someone who so tragically wants to help but has no solution to the problem. It feels like shes falling non-stop but the relationship she finds in Ewan McGregors character eases her burden. Their chemistry is great together. McGregor is always underrated, with a slew of harsh critics, but he adds the charm and heart to a film that wouldn’t have it without him. These two are the sole characters of the film amidst a bunch of minors and extras, and they amore than make it work. It’s a great film that they make even better.

The start of the year has been pretty damn lousy, but there are films that have managed to impress, you just have to find them and give them a chance. I already know that Perfect Sense will be one of the most overlooked films of the year, but it has rightfully earned the attention of the audience. It’s a good romance flooded with a calming disaster. I recommend this with no doubts in my head.

Overall Score: 8/10

 

[Palooza]

I never heard of this movie. I'm intrigued. I love Eva Green and Ewan McGregor and I are on good terms after Beginners.

 

[Buzzman]

I really should watch Beginners.

 

[Palooza]

I really should watch Beginners.

ooohhh Melanie Laurent :drool:

She is the only other thing that has been my avatar in my forum career. Soap and Soshanna.

 

[Buzzman]

Man on a Ledge (2012)

An ex-cop and now wanted fugitive (Sam Worthington) stands on the ledge of a high-rise building while a hard-living New York Police Department negotiator (Elizabeth Banks)tries to talk him down. The longer they are on the ledge, the more she realizes that he might have an ulterior objective.

I would have been fine with a film that wasn’t very good, didn’t take itself too seriously, and entertained me enough to the extent of it becoming a late night TNT watch years from now. That’s all I could really ask for with a film like Man on a Ledge; any higher expectations and surely you would setting yourself up to be disappointed. To my surprise, Man on a Ledge was neither fun not campy enough to ever want to watch it again. It’s a film that makes you question why you ever watched it in the first place, with a slew of other options that certainly would have been better; like my tenth viewing of Shooter.

The title, Man on a Ledge, suggests you’re in for an intense battle of wits with the protagonist, but it seems almost from the get-go that you have no worries about the fate of this man. Not only is he not going to jump, but he’s going to come away squeaky queen wrapped in a nice little bow. The film tries to play off that something could actually happen, but it stands exactly still. Rarely moving from form, featuring a bunch of nonsense dialogue that is only filler content, while the real “juicy” part of the film is happening. You see this is all just a ruse to keep the focus away from a certain building that his brother plans to rob to help prove that the man on the ledge is indeed innocent of the crime he was convicted. The robbery is really bad. Not a whole lot of smarts nor thrills about it except the constant spam of amazing cleavage in your face. It’s a film that tries to be overly smart, overly serious, and overly ambitious. That doesn’t work when even the biggest strengths of your film are mediocre.

Sam Worthington needs to quit. Unless he has a slew of special effects around him, hes just not that good. He over acts on everything, speaking as if every line coming from his mouth is the words of Christ. Troubled signs for a troubled actor at this point in his career. It’s hard to believe he was the best part in Terminator: Salvation. His supporting cast do a better job than him at creating a likeable persona around them. Jamie Bell has charm, Genesis Rodriguez has a nice set of tits, and Elizabeth Banks tries to pretend like she wants to be there. All adds up to a solution to help save the film, but Ed Harris protagonist is not only dull, but extremely dimwitted. He dumbs the audience down and acts like he’s not doing exactly that. If I didn’t notice until now, but this is a cast of some rather forgettable actors in Hollywood. What a shame.

I wish I could say this was a fun, action thriller, but it’s not. It’s boring, slow, anticlimactic, and campy. You better service your time watching re-runs of films you actually enjoy on their twentieth viewing rather than watching this just once. Pass it by and never look back.

Overall Score: 3/10

 

[Buzzman]

Wanderlust (2012)

George (Rudd) and Linda (Aniston) are an overextended, stressed out Manhattan couple. After George is downsized out of his job, they find themselves with only one option: to move in with George's awful brother in Atlanta. On the way there, George and Linda stumble upon Elysium, an idyllic community populated by colorful characters who embrace a different way of looking at things.

I have no idea if Wanderlust was a comedy trying to mix in a flare with an romance or if it was a romance throwing in some comedy. Regardless fo what it was trying to be it failed at being either of those things. It wasn’t very and it wasn’t very romantic. It was kind of just there showing you dull moments and clichéd instigations that never pulled in your interest to help you care about any of the characters. It seems to think its doing everything right that they don’t really need to try, but in doing so becomes stale and a very unlikeable comedy; hard to believe when you have such a likeable leads in Paul Rudd and Jennifer Aniston.

The film begins with the obvious attempt at connection with the losing of one’s job and having financial mess between both parties of the marriage. They quickly move on to them hitting the road to stay at a relatives, but somehow wind up at a commune featuring a bunch of terrible unfunny characters and situations. Every single form of joke is stretched to the point where if it actually was funny has overstayed its welcome. They constantly do this style of humor and ends up hurting it pretty bad. Along the lines of a clichéd romantic comedy, the usual break up/make up routine goes through its usual step process. A movie that is at a very short eighty-nine minute runtime ends up feeling like a three hour epic that just has no end in sight. It’s just another example of what can happen when you don’t try hard enough to make something.

I love Paul Rudd, I really do, but man does he get nothing to work with here. It seems like every single one of his punch lines went on and on until it starts to make you dislike him. It’s an almost impossible feat to do with one of the nicest actors in the business, but they quickly manage to accomplish that near impossible feat. Jennifer Aniston wastes no time erasing the memories of Horrible Bosses away with yet another dreadful performance in a romantic comedy. The bitch will never learn. A lot fo the supporting cast blew like Ken Marino, Malin Akerman, and Alan Alda, but the one taking the crown jewel is Justin Theroux. I haven’t seen such a terribly written/acted character in a long time. Everything about him was unfunny, uncharming, and just so damn annoying. I wouldn’t be unhappy to find out he never acts again; Dude is awful.

Wanderlust should be avoided. It may have a lot of potential to be funny with the cast, the director, and the genre, but it is your typical crap you usually get from these types of films. Their type of humor is throwing random penis shots across the board and expect you to laugh at it. It’s one of the films I feel confident in labeling as an unwatchable one. There are TERRBILE films that I can say someone, somewhere, might enjoy, but not for this one. Its pure crap.

Overall Score: 1/10

 

[grif]

21 Jump Street was the tits. Fuck you, bitch. That is all.

PS I know you gave it a good review, just quoting Channing Tatum's 5-10 "fuck you, bitch," moments.

 

[Buzzman]

Melancholia (2011)

Justine (Kirsten Dunst) and Michael (Alexander Skarsgård) are celebrating their marriage at a sumptuous party in the home of her sister (Charlotte Gainsbourg) and brother-in-law (Kiefer Sutherland). Meanwhile, the planet, Melancholia, is heading towards Earth...

Never have I been so torn about a film and the quality of its content. One half of the film is a slow, boring, awfully depressing piece of work that should never really be watched more than once. The other half is a sudden change. It goes the same speed, but it’s presented in a manner that makes it intriguing, interesting, and intense. I’d gladly tell you to watch the second act, but the real dilemma is trying to figure out if the benefit of this second act outweighs the negative of its opening act. I’d love to say yes, but I honestly don’t know the answer.

The film is set to the tune of two acts, both couldn’t be more opposite of each other; The opening act takes place at a wedding where apparently the bride has a disease of depression. They constantly remind you of this with her constant moments of unhappiness, her willingness to crush the smiles from her husband, and the constant looks of corner from the guests. It’s very repetitive, very boring, and awfully done. It has “minor” plots that don’t make a whole lot of sense to me, makes you hate the protagonist, and gives you no warning of the sudden change that makes the first at almost useless. The second act changes perspectives and takes the environment back to a mansion sometime after the wedding. Here they learn of a planet called Melancholia that appears in the sky with an orbit that puts it awfully close to earth but should pass by with little consequence. Here the depression actually has meaning. The mother is worried that they are all going to die, and ironically it’s her sister (the bride) that attempts to calm her down and tell her whatever fate they have shouldn’t be a fear of hers. It’s a weird scenario that plays out very well if you see the character in the same way I did that many did not. Part of the reason is I think you cannot skip the first half is because it presents a theory about the bride. If you go in looking for it, the signs are there and makes a good deal of sense that she has a psychic ability that let her see the future, and the first act is her initial state of mind to the horrifying image and the second act is her accepting the vision as true future.

Kirsten Dunst turns in a performance that nobody saw coming from her. It’s a role she doesn’t fit her as an actress, yet she passes the eye test. Her transformation from dead inside into a controlled woman isn’t as drastic, but it can’t go without saying how much you dislike her at the start and then enjoy at the end. It’ll probably be the only time she gets as much critical praise and she has gotten. Despite the performance, the scenario and script seemed to benefit her a whole lot. Her sister, Charlotte Gainsbourg, is unknown to me, but throughout both acts I really struggled to understand her character. She acted as an exact opposite to the bride, but seemed to struggle to attain your sympathy for her character because she was never shown in any other way but terrified. In very small roles Keifer Sutherland and Alexander Skarsgård manage to stand out in very limited screen time. They are necessary roles in such a depressing film.

If you haven’t heard of Melancholia by now, it probably isn’t a film for you. It’s as artsy as they can get. It has very many wonderful shots of cinematography, but the story movies at a snail’s pace that will detract a very many of you. I was ready to shut it off twenty minutes in, but the second half is really wonderful. The closing moments are some of the best of the year, but they come at a price. If you can afford it, then by all means sit through it and enjoy what you can, but I don’t blame you if you can’t. It’s that kind of film.

Overall Score: 7.5/10

 

[Buzzman]

Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance (2012)

Nicolas Cage reprises his role as Johnny Blaze in Ghost Rider Spirit of Vengeance. In this gritty new vision for the character, directed by Neveldine/Taylor (Crank), Johnny is still struggling with his curse as the devil's bounty hunter - but he may risk everything as he teams up with the leader of a group of rebel monks (Idris Elba) to save a young boy from the devil... and possibly rid himself of his curse forever.

I will never figure out what made executive producers green light a sequel to the ghost rider film. To make it even worse, the directors were calling this a reboot of sorts that largely ignored the first film existed, yet they kept the worst part of the original; Nic Cage himself. As soon as you cast him into your movie, all it will trigger is the terrible first film and make you automatically assume you didn’t want to see this one. It’s one of the year’s most absurd movies, and even worse executive decisions one could make; I hope the man who started this entire thing up is lying on the sidewalk begging for change.

For some reason the opening sequences of this film essentially recap everything that you learned in the first film. It’s retarded, but I guess they’re assuming the only people to come and watch are future victims they never had the pleasure of reeling in with the original film. Afterwards, it establishes that the devil is weakening and needs a new body in the form of a boy. In order for Johnny Blaze to rid himself of his curse, he must save this boy and in essence, save the world. It’s even worse than it sounds. A lot of the action sequences feel like they are played out in slow motion even though they’re not. The villains and their tactics are cliché; playing out the exact way you would imagine, and its filled with so many contradictory statements, you wonder how old the writer was and if this was ever proofread or just made up on the spot entirely. It’s a mess that heads up looking like pure shit.

This film does a great job of creating so of the worst characters of a comic book universe. Nic Cage should speak for himself and his reputation. The only thing I wanted out of this movie was a few classic Cage freak outs that only he can do, but even those were to terrible to enjoy. Ciarán Hinds playing the devil himself, felt like standing and staring with intimidation would make him a menacing villain, but it just made him look like he had to go to the bathroom the entire time. His lackey, Johnny Whitworth, played some weird looking decomposer that was not only awfully written, but looked hideous. His costume made me want to vomit. The boy at the center of the film was unsurprisingly a fairly new actor that should probably look to change professions because this wasn’t the break he was going to get. Just an all-around terrible cast that fits perfectly with the terrible movie they are in. They deserve each other.

The question is not if Ghost Rider 2 is the worst comic book adaptations of all time, because it’s without a doubt the worst, but where it ranks on an all-time worst films list. It doesn’t manage to climb to the so bad its awesome level, so its stuck with being just pure shit that nobody will ever think even once about. Maybe one day, ten years from now when this stench is washed from the public’s nose, they can reboot it and make a proper Ghost Rider franchise. Until that day, let’s just pretend this short lived series never existed.


Overall Score: 0/10

 

[Buzzman]

Gone (2012)

In the new suspense thriller Gone, Jill Parrish (Amanda Seyfried) comes home from a night shift to discover her sister Molly has been abducted. Jill, who had escaped from a kidnapper a year before, is convinced that the same serial killer has come back for her sister. Afraid that Molly will be dead by sundown, Jill embarks on a heart-pounding chase to find the killer, expose his secrets and save her sister.

I see a lot of movies that simply put should not be watched. They look terrible, have been received terribly, and are all but guaranteed to be terrible, yet somehow they come across my path and I say why the hell not. I never really seemed to regret giving them my time because they are only a mere ninety minutes of my time, but after having a large string of them come at me in such a short span, they have taken their effecton me and I wonder how many more “Gones” will it take to finally push me over the edge. I can only hope the next one will be months away, but I doubt it.

The film begins with the actual kidnapping of the protagonist Jill. She laughably escapes and then it’s revealed this is merely a flashback. The present is a year later and this guy is still out there just waiting to strike at her again. The killer is retarded in the manner in which he handles things but we can get to that later. When he takes Jill’s sister, she makes it her personal ambition to make sure she gets her back. She goes around the city following clues like a modern day Sherlock Holmes. All the while, the dumbass police sit on the heads and do a very poor interpretation of what a cop would do. It’s pretty bad, but is hard to exactly pinpoint unless you actually see all the wrong things they manage to mess up in such little screen time. This very anticlimactic chase through the city comes to an even boring finish that has got to be one of the dumbest five minutes I’ve seen on screen. The sheer amount of stupidity from the killer is mind blowing. It’s almost as if they wanted to hurry up and end this POS, and that’s exactly what they did.

At one point I remember Hollywood trying to force Amanda Seyfried into stardom upon us, but after a few misses, she is stuck doing what should be straight to DVD material. She has never shown much, but here is a good example of as an actress. She is terrible, in a terrible movie, and does terrible at the box office. This is what she brings to the table and how she manages to find work outside of romances is beyond me because those are the only roles she seems able to pass off. In a star in the making performance, I wish I knew who played the villain because he was so damn good. He should win a Razzie for his few minutes on screen, but this movie was so forgettable, it wouldn’t bring any media to their show. It’s so bad even the Razzies wouldn’t want you.

Summit Entertainment is the studio behind this movie and you wonder to yourself where they would be without the Twilight franchise. This is just one of many terrible bombs they have put out and it makes you hate Twilight even more when you know that money led to movies like this. Hopefully the merging of Summit with Lionsgate will help shed some of the terribleness off, but Lionsgate doesn’t seem to fare any better. O well, forget you read this and move on.

Overall Score: 0/10

 

[Buzzman]

Kiss Kiss Bang Bang (2005)

A murder mystery brings together a private eye (Val Kilmer) , a struggling actress (Michelle Monaghan), and a thief masquerading as an actor (Robert Downey Jr).

There are certain movies that seem to always escape your viewing pleasure. For no other reason, you seem to always allow it to pass by despite all the good things people have to say about it. What’s strange is you almost seem certain the movie will be great, but the motivation isn’t there. When you finally do watch it, you think to yourself what the hell took so long. Kiss Kiss Bang Bang is that kind of movie for me. I have no idea why I waited on it, why I watched countless trash when I could have just enjoyed this. I guess better late than never.

The film quickly establishes its tone and style through the use of voice over. Normally voice over can ruin a movie because why tell us what the character us thinking when it’s better to show us, but Robert Downey nails down the comedic dialogue that feels like an extension of a movie rather than an interruption. It helps he takes notice of the clichés that come with a voice-over but as he says it best “Who gives a fuck, this is my story, and this really happened.” Along with that, it’s a black comedy sort of mystery murder plot that fits in all too well. The characters brought into the story, the constant tiny twists, and silly shenanigans gel to form a noire that reaches all of its potential. It’s consistently funny, but still manages to keep it grounded enough to get you to care about the fates of each character involved.

Robert Downey Jr is the absolute man in this. I can certainly see why this was his comeback that earned him the role of his current roles of Tony Stark and Sherlock Holmes. He’s fantastic. He keeps that fast paced cockiness that he’s known for and throws in his comedic sarcasm that fits into this world Shane Black has created. I was growing a bit tired of Downey’s style, but this is his peak and helped me fall back into his good graces. The real surprise treat for me was Val Kilmer as Gay Perry. I’ve always enjoyed Kilmer pre fat phase, but it seems like years since he’s starred in something I’ve enjoyed but he was awesome as well. His chemistry with Downey was always there, bouncing off each other, bickering as if they have been best friends their entire lives. Then there was Michelle Monaghan who is so damn cute. Her character wasn’t necessarily needed, but she charms her way into your liking with simply a smile and a laugh. These three lead a good cast that excels at making the movie work so well.

Please don’t be like myself and wait so long to see a film of this quality. To say the least it’s an underrated gem that should’ve been the monster hit it wasn’t. It jump started careers, and has developed a well-deserved cult following. It’s well worth your time. In a little bit of a side note, this makes me feel very confident in Iron Man 3. Shane Black working with Downey again and a more massive budget and time makes me drool at what he can accomplish. I cannot wait.

Overall Score: 9/10

 

[Champ]

Kiss Kiss Bang Bang is a great movie. I have 2 copies on DVD somehow haha.

 

[Buzzman]

Project X (2012)

Three seemingly anonymous high school seniors attempt to finally make a name for themselves. Their idea is innocent enough - let's throw a party that no one will forget, and have a camera there, to document history in the making. But nothing could prepare them for this party. Word spreads quickly as dreams are ruined, records are blemished and legends are born.

I want to say the found footage genre has been getting a little breathe of fresh air as of late. Hollywood is finding other ways than horror to work it in, and for the most part they end up working well. The real problem with it as always is it’s hampered with the camera older. They always have to have a reason for him to be there filming, but far too often in this film, he appears to be invisible to the people around him. It would’ve worked fine as a standalone film featuring one giant party, but that added feature feels very outdone and stale, despite being a comedy. It doesn’t seem to matter what genre it’s in, but the found footage era seems to be heading towards an end in terms of quality.

The plot feels somewhat reminiscent of filling in the blanks had The Hangover played out the drunken night rather than skipping it and having them fill in the blanks afterwards. O and its underage teenagers who are only half as funny. In typical high school fashion, it’s all about getting laid, and throwing this party is their solution to that problem. It was supposed to be somewhat small, but people just keep showing up. It gets completely out of hand, when literally thousands of people show up, and it doesn’t work out as well as you’d think. A lot of the chaos doesn’t feel epic, but rather bland, boring, and repetitive. At some point, it became too much, and you started to zone it out. Amongst all this chaos, there happens to be a very cliché and setup love story that actually really kills a lot of the found footage style. It felt like a giant chunk of time that stopped the films momentum and winds up being one of the most tedious sections to get through.

The film is made up of entirely unknown faces. Two of the leads, Thomas Mann and Jonathan Daniel Brown, both come off as whiners that don’t do anything but complain. They obviously don’t do a very good job. The real positive note was Oliver Cooper, who plays Costa, there friend who essentially setup the entire party. He’s an nerdy, egotistical, over confident kid who brings up most of the laughs. He has some of the better one liners the film has to offer. He is the one really good thing that stands out in a mediocre comedy.

I can see a lot of people laughing and tolerating the film, but it lacks the feel of a straight comedy when it drops away from the party and starts to focus on individual characters. They aren’t established enough to actually care about them. The party seems to be the real character, but it leaves you feeling a bit too big for its own good. Throw in a poorly written found footage aspect, and it limits itself unfairly. If you go into this knowing the fair amount of laughs have nothing behind them, I’m sure you’ll walk away feeling every bit satisfied with it as you would’ve expected.

Overall Score: 5/10

 

[LiquidLarry2GhostWF]

Now I know who goes to see Ghost Rider Spirit of Vengence.

Dudes who work the red eye shift and go to movies at 8am at a $5 movie theatre.

Holy fuck, was there a reason to watch this when you weren't A) drunk, B) high, C) with friends, D) watching an FX mid-day movie while in jail, so you had nothing else to watch.

I mean, seriously?

 

[Buzzman]

There was always a chance Ghost Rider or Gone could have been fun, but obviously they were not.

 

[Buzzman]

ATM (2012)

After leaving their company Christmas Party together, David Hargrove and Emily Brandt's impromptu first date takes an unexpected turn when their coworker, Corey, asks them to make a late-night stop at an ATM. What should be a routine transaction turns into a desperate struggle for survival when an unknown man appears outside the vestibule. With the wintry temperatures dipping below freezing, and the morning sunrise still hours away, they have no choice but to play the man's deadly game of cat-and-mouse.

Small scaled horror films can be very effective when you have something worth shooting. I’m sure the idea of a movie like ATM seemed intriguing, which probably started as a tiny fifteen minute short, but when you stretch it out into a ninety minute film, things can start to get a little messy. You can only do so much in that type of situation before the audience starts to get fed up at the moves the characters make and just how out there the situation becomes. It’s amazing what they managed to shoot with a straight face.

In a below zero kind of night, three friends stop at the most conveniently placed ATM in the history of movies. Not only is this sucker got nothing around it, but it’s a bullet proof, high tech, safe house that somehow doesn’t have the bums of the world sleeping in it. If you can look past that, the start of the film is actually pretty decent. When they turn to leave after their transaction, a man is waiting about 15 yards away from the door, just standing at staring. It freaks them out and after a bit of back and forth bickering about his intentions, the man solidifies himself as a threat by killing a random citizen that is walking its dog in the lot. They don’t know what to do, but initially start out doing the right moves, but about thirty five minutes in, they stop and start to do movie moves. They have to deal with the freezing cold, water cave-ins, head traumas, knives, and each other. It’s a quadruple whammy. The film runs out of ideas to keep it going and the tension gets traded in for stupidity, over the top scenarios, and a bizarre ending that has to be one of the most insulting kind of endings. It’s just not a possible feat, but they do it anyway and pretend like they just blew your mind.

Right of the bat, I’ll admit I enjoy all of the actors that were in this, just not for this. They are given a crap script and does a crap job at trying to make up for it. Alice Eves and Josh Peck in particular just seem to be trying too hard at creating a sense of tension and fear among them. There is a scene in particular that is just very bad by my boy Josh Peck. It involves a lot of terrible crying that is cringe worthy. Brian Geraghty as the third wheel isn’t much better, but he seems to be more effective than the other two. This seems to just be a paycheck and another film to add to the resumes of these three that is only to get work. Nothing else seems to be a better option.

If you were looking for a claustrophobic like horror film similar to Buried or Frozen, you’re a bit out of luck because there is none of that here. It also doesn’t work all that well as a slasher film either because the death toll isn’t up there. It’s a film without a specific genre that doesn’t do many things write. I’d advise you to skip this one as the concept just cannot work in a feature length film.

Overall Score: 2/10

 

[Buzzman]

John Carter (2012)

John Carter tells the story of war-weary, former military captain John Carter (Taylor Kitsch), who is inexplicably transported to Mars where he becomes reluctantly embroiled in a conflict of epic proportions amongst the inhabitants of the planet, including Tars Tarkas (Willem Dafoe) and the captivating Princess Dejah Thoris (Lynn Collins). In a world on the brink of collapse, Carter rediscovers his humanity when he realizes that the survival of Barsoom and its people rests in his hands.

Pretty much since its reveal, John Carter has got a huge amount of bad buzz. First it dropped Mars from its title for apparently no good reason; the first teaser (which I thought was really good) revealed almost nothing about the film, and then the actual full length trailers featured way too much CGI alien that taken out of the context of its proper situation looked poorly done. It looked set up to be a giant disaster, but how wrong many people were. It was one of the most enjoyable pure science fiction epics I’ve seen in a long time.

The story opens up a little cheesy with a Civil War officer taking John Carter prisoner and they wind up trapped in a cave where Carter accidently finds a way to be transported to the planet we know is Mars. This sets up a bunch of good enough jokes involving both the aliens and the simple ability to walk. In fact, the film does play itself into a lot of jokes that turn out to be humorous for both the kids and adults. It was a nice surprise that they kept up throughout the entire film. Taking aside from the comedy, its adventure is massive in scale but simple in storytelling. Mars looks an awful lot like the Grand Canyon, but the creatures that fit into this world make up for it. The CGI of them look very polished. The trailers don’t do it enough justice because they feel like a part of the story rather than an object that so many others feel like. The only one that didn’t feel right was the “dog” which was funny enough to make up for it. The story it tells is that of a lost man trying to find reason in himself. He does this by finding love once again that he thought he never could feel again. It’s hard to not type it generically but it is what it is. When it gets a little stale, it has an ending that kicks in some adrenaline and goes off with a bang. It completes the transition of this story that both works as a standalone ending and one that sets up a sequel we will never see. That’s not to say it doesn’t do things wrong. Its dialogue is very bad at times and out of place, the use of technology seems to be up and down because they fly ships but still use swords. Very strange, but most of its flaws can be overlooked because most of it is so enjoyable.

It was strange seeing Tim Riggins lead a Hollywood blockbuster; he handled himself well for the most part. His accent mixed in with the generic Texas dialogue is the biggest problem he manages to overcome. He has more than a few moments to convey some emotions of rage, sadness, and happiness that elevate the scenes into great ones. His co-star Lynn Collins as the princess of Mars has a little trouble handling scenes that require screen presence. When she shouts you still manage to stare at the others in the room rather than her, and her problems which keep the film moving, kind of become a nuisance for the crowd. That could be because the villains are very generic. One is a stupid power hungry buffoon and the others are an ancient race that tend to whisper there plans for no other reason than for the audience. They work well enough but the story is more about the transition for John Carter rather than stopping some all-powerful being.

I really don’t know how John Carter has such a low rotten tomato score because everyone that I have talked to that has seen it has enjoyed it or even loved it. It’s a really fun, sometimes amazing adventure epic that does a lot more things right than wrong. Don’t let the terrible trailers make your descion on the film. Go out and give it a shot and see for yourself just how much fun it can be. It sucks a sequel will probably never be green lit, but it works just fine as a standalone film that has gotten better with thought. Its box office report is such a shame.

Overall Score: 8/10

 

[dell71]

It kinda seems like you answered your own question about John Carter's low RT score: cheesy start, stale in the middle, bad dialogue, problems with the female lead, generic villains. Just sayin'.

On the other hand, very glad you liked Kiss Kiss Bang Bang. That's an underappreciated gem.